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Chapter 32 (continued)
Darc rushed out of the shadows, and called up at the plateau: "Don't shoot, Dohan! Don't shoot! It is me! I am alive and well! Just don't do anything yet! Wait a little!"
([Sings] Stop! In the name of love...)
He had to seize the moment, before the situation once more got out of hand. He ran into the circle of torchlight, cupped his hand around his lips and tried to address both Dohan and the Lepers simultaneously.
("DohanLeperssimultaneously!")
"It is true, that many believe I am the reborn Singing King! The man up there has come to take me back to another land!
("Disneyland!")
"But I will stay here a while longer, to help both him and you! Did you remember my first words to you? I said to you: 'I am a Leper!' And it is true!
("Sort of!")
Now the Plague runs in my blood! And yet I am not sick! Because my body... has learned to fight the disease! Because the Plague is not one, but several Plagues!"
(A mutant in the crowd shouts "Pull the other one!")
It took some time to explain, and Dohan could not hear everything from the plateau where he stood.
("Speak up!")
But the sincerity of Darc was enough to convince the Lepers. The sins of man, they agreed, was about to be washed away, and only one man - or man-god - could have made such a miracle come true. They lowered their spears; on a cue they kneeled before Darc.
"Behold the King," the villagers murmured in awe. "Praise the King Reborn."
(Americans grovel way too much to their leaders these days...)
Even Claw fell to his knees - weeping again. Shara stood one step apart from Darc, not quite understanding what was happening, but afraid - and enchanted. Half she believed, half she refused to believe that Darc was a man-god in disguise.
(Half she laughed her ass off.)
He turned and faced her.
"Do you believe in me, Shara? Do you now? Do you really?"
"Yes, I do, Darc. You are the most honest man I've ever met. You wield the truth like a sword. Your power frightens me."
("Like the power of retarded presidents frightens me.")
He frowned, and gazed down at the circle of worshippers. This was not what he wanted, to be a feared, lonely idol.
"But you're still just a man," she added, "and I love you."
("She loves me. She really loves me!")
She moved to embrace her. At the last moment, Darc held up his hand to stop her.
"What's wrong?" she asked anxiously.
("The grammar, the style, the syntax, the characterizations, the plot...")
"The Plague..." he said. "You must be inoculated before you touch me or the Lepers again. If I..."
("... could turn back time...")
Then he chuckled to himself. If something in the food and water had made him immune, this must have happened to Shara as well. And if she still needed it, his own saliva should contain enough dead virus molecules for her immune system to sharpen its teeth on. As things were now, it would only improve her chances.
([Bold voice] SCIENCE!)
"Give me a long, wet kiss," he said wryly and held out his arms. "The cure is in me now. Trust me."
Shara stood hesitating for a moment, then obliged, and threw herself at him.
(*SMOOCHSLURPLSSMACKSLOBBER*)
Their kiss lasted a minute.
(And they died of asphyxiation. The End.)
Shara made a little noise that resembled a moan of pleasure, and pulled him tighter against her trembling body. When they ceased, Darc immediately addressed Claw with renewed energy.
("Hiya chief! How's it goin'?")
"Rise up, chief - no one is to kneel before me. Now get me a ladder up to the plateau, quick! I've got to talk sense into the boy up there."
([Sings] Boy, boy, crazy boy...)
Claw stood up on uncertain legs, blinking at Darc with a puzzled left eye.
"Who is the madman up there?" he asked.
(Why, it's Mahmoud Ahmedinejad!)
"My best friend in the world, but not the brightest. Now please hurry up!"
(It was like something out of a cheesy sci-fi story.)
And if it had not been Darc, Dohan would have shot him on sight as an act of mercy.
(Irak's healthcare system in action!)
A set of wide, sturdy ladders was raised up from Claw's cliff habitat. In the light of several torches, Darc began the long and shaky climb up to the plateau, accompanied by Claw and Shara. Claw surely was afraid of being shot, but his trust in Darc was stronger than his fear.
Even though Darc kept shouting up at Dohan, telling him to stay calm, Dohan backed away from the plateau's edge and threw anxious glances in all directions. He expected an ambush of monsters at any second.
(At the Republican party convention.)
First of the group, Darc heaved himself up onto the dark plateau and caught his breath, before he reached down to help Shara get up. He told Claw to duck down just a moment, and waved at Dohan.
("Yoo-ho-oo!")
The beam from Dohan's helmet lamp forced him to squint.
"Hello there, kid! It's good to see you. How on earth did you find us here, on the other side of the sea?"
"A tale I have no time to tell," came Dohan's uneasy reply.
("A tale of two cities.")
"Darc - are you certain you have not gotten the disease? The Goddess may damn me, but I'm not letting you one step closer until I know!"
("Who screwed up Heroes!")
Darc took one step forward; he saw Dohan back off, in spite of his armor and weapons. He tried to establish eye contact with the nervous young knight, but the half-blinding light from his lamp made it difficult.
("Will you turn that ****ing thing off?")
"Okay. Dohan, have you ever heard of a cure called 'inoculation'? I have discovered an inoculation which makes it safe to touch a Leper without getting the Plague."
("I got it from Thabo Mbeki, the all-knowing and wise leader of South Africa!")
Dohan's memories of biology and medicine studies were dim, and his knowledge was limited by the social taboos against forbidden knowledge.
(He grew up in the Bible Belt.)
He shook his head; his fighter's instincts sensed something.
"You are not telling me the whole truth, Darc! I can hear it in your voice! What are you hiding?" Embarrassingly enough, Dohan stuttered.
(So it sounded more like this: "Y-y-you are n-n-not t-t-telling m-m-e th-the wh-whole t-t-t-ruth...")
Darc gestured to emphasize the sincerity of his reply: "Please trust me this one more time, Dohan!
("Can't you see how sincere my gestures are?")
You know these things can be difficult to understand. I cannot explain everything right now, under these circumstances.
("In this dry weather.")
I don't understand all of it myself yet. But of this much I am cartain: Shara and I were given an inoculation, and even if the Lepers touched us we are not sick with the Plague! Do you realize what it could mean? It is the beginning of a cure to end the Plague."
([Winston Churchill voice] "Not the end, or the beginning of the end, but the end of the beginning.")
Dohan's head felt suddenly light, as if his brains were pouring out through his ears.
(His head emptied, and he fell down dead. The End.)
He was very tired and confused, and longed to sleep.
The last few days, everything he had taken for granted had turned topsy-turvy on him. He had met witchdoctors, broken the law, opposed his father, and fought turncoat robots.
(Sounds like an ordinary L.A. weekend.)
And now this - the fundamental fear of every city-dweller's psyche, about to be defeated.
(The fear of Medicare.)
Azuch Fache's words returned from a deep abyss in Dohan's memory, and once more he thought of the prophecy. In Dohan's strained mind, Darc might be a man-god, but even such men were part human and could be unreliable.
(Take Li'l Jon, for example.)
He made a weary request: "Darc... I have long suspected you to be the reincarnated Singing King in disguise. So do many others: my mother, my sister, my friends... If you are him, then I would gladly believe all that you say. Could you just give me a sign... something that proves, beyond all doubt, that you are him?"
("And not her?")
Darc sighed, and kicked a pebble. This deification mania was definitely getting at his patience.
"Damn it, Dohan!
("I'm a doctor, not a scientist!")
It's not that simple! I cannot claim to be him! Stop being so stubbornly... use your brain!
("To hammer nails!")
No, don't touch any of us yet. First, we've got to create an inoculation for you. Then you can see for yourself. And we must get back to Mechao's island as soon as possible. I need his help to find a permanent cure. Are you listening? Can you see how much is at stake here?"
("Bill Clinton's sacred legacy!")
Dohan had dozed off for a moment, but started awake where he stood. Darc saw this, and realized that it was an advantage. He said, with sympathy: "You must be dead tired, Dohan. Go back to the ship. Lock yourself in, and sleep on it. It is safe to do it. I swear the Lepers will not go near the Sunray. Right?"
("SLEEEP!")
Dohan realized his physical reserves were empty. He gave up.
"Right," the young nobleman said.
("No,left. No wait... right! And now left!")
He staggered back to the parked aircraft, managed to get himself inside, locked and sealed the port, and collapsed on a bunk. His helmet clanged to the floor, but Dohan never noticed - he was practically unconscious. Darc turned back to Shara and Claw, and told them the crisis was over.
("Mission accomplished!")
They went back to their quarters and a good night's sleep - after Claw had ordered his tribe to keep off the Sunray by penalty of death.
(And a steep fine!)
The demise of Double-Mouth was not easily forgotten. And it doubled the villagers' resolve not to squander Darc's great promise of redemption.
(Well, until next week or so.)
DARC AGES (c)A.R.Yngve 1995, 2000, 2004. All rights reserved. May not be copied without permission.
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